Are you drawn to perfectionist leadership?
Do you find yourself constantly in pursuit of flawlessness, setting sky-high expectations for both yourself and those you lead? This deep dive may resonate with you on a personal level. The question of how our drive for perfect execution influences not just our own performance, but also the harmony and productivity of our teams, is a powerful one. This narrative aims to peel back the layers on the duality of perfectionist leadership. We will navigate through the benefits and drawbacks, and examine its ripple effects on team cohesion. These insights will hopefully guide you toward a more refined, impactful, and fulfilling leadership journey.
Why do we think perfectionist is better?
As in more successful. More secure. More satisfying. With better results. And better relationships. PERFECT…!? I was once part of this tribe. And like my fellow tribe members I was always working towards more. And… never really finding it. As I achieved one thing,
I already strived for the next challenge to overcome. Making me better. Making me feel better. And did it? Not really. It made me even more aware of how imperfect I was. With all the emotions and attitudes that came with that. And I see the same thing with my clients. So, what is the answer then? And is there an answer?
Leadership and perfectionism
Embarking on a journey through the landscape of leadership and perfectionism is comparable to navigating a complex tapestry woven from strands of ambition and self-critique. Perfectionism within leaders is marked not just by a merciless pursuit of flawlessness but also by setting sky-high standards and a tendency to judge one’s own or others’ actions severely. Such leaders, with their detail-oriented, motivated, and excellence-driven nature, seem to hold a shimmering promise of unmatched leadership. Yet, this journey is fraught with its own set of formidable challenges: an inclination towards unrealism, a rigidity that resists adaptability, and a perpetual sense of dissatisfaction that looms like a constant shadow. Here we see the impact that perfectionism can have on both the leader and their team.
Defining perfection: a subjective battlefield
The quest for perfection treads on murky terrain, where what constitutes as 'perfect' remains as elusive and varied as the human experience itself. For leaders caught in the web of perfectionism, this quest becomes a subjective battlefield where their vision of 'perfect' often diverges sharply from that of their team members, colleagues, or clients. This divergence can transform into a dilemma of conflicting expectations, feedback, and constant revisions, draining precious time, energy, and resources. Moreover, when leaders steeped in perfectionism impose their rigid standards upon others, they inadvertently suppress the richness of diversity, creativity, and innovation that different perspectives bring, undermining the spirit of collaboration and progress.
“Ring the bells that still can ring, forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in. That’s how the light gets in” Leonard Cohen
Finding your own answers to perfectionism
What are you telling yourself in your quest to become perfect? Did you ever consider that you already might be “good enough”? And by the way, what are your standards for being “good enough”? What if aligning yourself linguistically, emotionally and physically would produce a very authentic, wholesome version of yourself? A version that would feel good in his or her own skin. A whole you that is deeply satisfied with his/her strong points AND points to be worked on. Because you see that is what it is. It is YOU who should define who you want to be. Not the outside world. Because whose values are you following going for this so-called “perfect” version of yourself, if they are not your own?
What is a perfectionist person like?
Perfectionists set unrealistically high expectations for themselves and others. They are quick to find fault and overly critical of mistakes. They tend to procrastinate a project out of their fear of failure. They shrug off compliments and forget to celebrate their success.
How does perfectionism affect leadership?
Perfectionists are often paralyzed by the fear of making mistakes, hindering their capacity for risk-taking, creativity, and innovation. To ensure everything is done flawlessly, perfectionist leaders may resort to micromanagement. This hampers team autonomy and morale.
Do perfectionists make good managers?
Perfectionists are holding themselves and others to illusory standards, and as a result they are often dissatisfied. From a work perspective, perfectionist managers are not able to work quickly or be agile, and they struggle to delegate work or see tasks as complete. It can always be better, right?
How to deal with a perfectionist leader?
There are some things to consider when you are working for a perfectionist leader:
- Set boundaries, as perfectionist leader often set unrealistic expectations, such as long hours, tight deadlines, and perfect work.
- Demonstrate your dedication.
- Be intentional with your communication
- Give yourself positive feedback and be factual about it.
- Lean on your support system.
Conclusion
Just like you I had to find my own answers to my perfectionist behavior. For me it was analyzing what was behind this desire to be perfect, which was a story of “not good enough”. There was a voice of insecurity and self-criticism and as a reaction to that I overdid it. Always. Fast forward time: I learned to be very vigilant about that voice. Not so much feeding it anymore, nor arguing with it anymore. Nowadays I turn my back on that voice and walk away from it. And just do my work. And I discovered that new habits are much more powerful than fears. I would like to quote Pema Chödrön here, a Buddhist monk who considers perfectionism to be like death. According to their philosophy striving to be perfect is some kind of death. There is no fresh air. No room for something to come in and interrupt our status quo. We are killing the moment by controlling our experience. And we set ourselves up for failure here, as sooner or later, we will have an experience we can’t control. Mmm. Would CONTROL be the word to look at?
If you feel that a deeper dive in your quest to be perfect is for you, reach out today and let's embark on your next step on your leadership journey. As a senior leadership coach, I am here to help you to not only recognize your true worth but to also confidently stand in it.
